Sunday, March 31, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Breast feeding
I wish I would have written this post when I was newly breast feeding so I could be truly accurate- but I have been busy... Ya know- breast feeding and all.
I don't know what made me decide to breast feed- it was always just "yep I'm going to breast feed." It seemed like the natural thing to do. It outranked the whole wanting to have a natural childbirth. It was actually one of my biggest fears when I learned that I would have to have a c section. I had heard stories from friends who had had c sections that they struggled with breast feeding, that their milk never came in. They suspected it was because their body didn't really know they had a baby since it was for all intensive purposes ripped out of them and their body had nothing to do with it.
This reason was partly the reason I wanted to schedule my section for as far out as I could. I wanted my body I naturally go in to labor before they did the c section. Yes this waiting also had to do with the fact that I hoped out LO would flip head down.
Luckily for me I have not had to worry about breast feeding. I of course DID worry. I worried all the time. I STILL worry!
Can I just say breast feeding is damn hard. It is not that Johnson & Johnson beautiful picture you see in movies. It is frustrating, it is sloppy, it is painful. Boy is it painful! (This is where I wish I had written this post earlier so that my future pregnant self or pregnant friends could get a real world account of how hard it is). But now that I am over that hard part I forget how hard it really was. I guess it is a little like child birth. In the middle of it all people say it is the worst pain they have ever felt they would never wish it on anyone- then you hold that baby and look into its wide gray eyes and two+ years down the road you are doing it all over again. The joys make you forget the pain and sorrows.
But for future pregnant self and friends who read this blog who are pregnant here is a small recap so you sorta know what to expect.
* Breast feeding classes although helpful don't prepare you for squat
No one in their right mind would choose to breast feed if these classes told you what it is really like.
* It flippin' hurts- I don't know where nurses or lactation consultants get off telling you it doesn't hurt, and if it does you are doing it wrong. Stop making women think that pain is abnormal. That's probably why so many women quit breast feeding because they think they are doing it wrong. If there is pain- it IS normal. (Yes latch could be wrong causing pain) but those first few weeks you are going to be in pain- whether your LO is latched correctly or not. I mean REALLY you have a creature grabbing an already sensitive part of your body and sucking on it vigorously enough to pull liquid out of it for 20+ minutes. Then turning around and doing that every hour! It is going to take your nipples some time to get used to that.
I remember sitting in pain in the beginning. After what seemed liked 20 minutes of getting pillows set up all around me and getting situated I would finally get Ella latched. I would grit my teeth, stomp my feet, utter a few choice cuss words that I hoped my young child would never hear (and if you know me you know I DO NOT cuss) and would cry.
* You can't just whip the boob out anywhere (at least in the beginning). I spent the first couple of weeks perfectly placing pillows around me making sure I was comfortable and baby was comfortable. Like I said before I swear it was a twenty minute process getting ready to feed her. But now a month later- I have nursed at the doctors, I have nursed at relatives houses, I have nursed at the store, I have nursed in the car. I don't bed all those pillows anymore. And I know that the older Ella gets the easier it will be to just whip the boob out and feed her. We are still (a month in) not to the point that I can nurse without a light on. Ella still needs help finding the nipple sometimes and getting latched on correctly and staying latched on.
* It is sloppy. Classes did not prepare me for the amount of milk that would get dripped all over me as I tried to breast feed. No one told me that my little one would "play" at the nipple which would cause my milk to come down and squirt her in the face. No one told me that that one little squirt in the beginning would eventually turn in to numerous fountains of squirts. How in the heck are you supposed to nurse in public when you have fountains for boobs! Not to mention society thinks you should do it under a blanket. (Like I said earlier- a month in and I still need to see what Ella is doing to get it right- I can't see what she is doing if I have a blanket covering her). But this post isn't about my viewpoint on nursing in public- it's just nursing in general--- for right now.
* It is a 24/7 job. Why don't they tell you the time commit it takes! Sure they brag that you won't have to get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen to make a bottle. They even say you will get more sleep. HA! I'm sure this is an individual by individual basis. But my husband could go to the kitchen and make a bottle as I continue to sleep. Heck he can even feed her the bottle as a sleep.
It wouldn't be bad if Ella woke up and ate and that was it. We have it lucky- I have super boobs (as Matt affectionately calls them) and Ella is able to eat efficiently and it only takes her 10 minute or so to be full. And typically goes 3 hours between feedings now (keep in mind this is a month in). Some babies take 45 minutes to eat and eat every 2 hours--- that is from beginning of the feeding to the beginning of the next feeding. Do the math on that. You wake up at 2am. Baby feeds until 2:45. Then you burp (they tell you to keep baby upright for 20-30 minutes before laying them down) lets say you burp for 15 minutes. That puts you at 3 o clock. You get baby back to bed instantly and you are able to fall back asleep with no problems what-so-ever (because that is EXACTLY how it happens) and baby is ready to eat again at 4 o'clock. Congratulations momma! You just got an hour of sleep.
Who in their right mind would choose to do that!
I will say this is really so varied. Ella is an efficient eater. And I do get more sleep than an hour at a time. But it is time consuming!
* Just because your baby isn't eating 20 minutes on the right and 20 minutes on the left doesn't mean they aren't getting enough to eat! This (aside from the pain in the beginning) was the hardest for me. I worried so much she wasn't getting enough to eat because she would take one boob or about 7 minutes then fall asleep and be done. But let's just say my "super boobs" were/are doing their jobs. She was born 7lbs 4 ozs on a Tuesday. Thursday she was 7 lbs. Friday she was 7lbs 2 oz (breast fed babies typically lose 7-10% of their body weight and don't gain it back until about 10 days postpartum) she only lost 3% and gained some back before we even left the hospital. On Monday (3 days after discharge) she weighed 7 pounds 12 oz. At her one month appointment she was 9 pounds 6 ounces. You can't tell me that she isn't getting what she needs in 7 minute feedings--- but still I worry. Point is-- worrying is normal!
So this post wasn't to discourage anyone from breast feeding. it was to speak the truth so hopefully others will stick it out longer. I had this vision in my head that turned out to be completely different. I wish I had known that breastfeeding isn’t easy for everybody. I thought I was doing something wrong…that I wasn't a good mom because it wasn't going by the play book. I now realize that is completely silly.
In the beginning you have to take it one feeding at a time. It eventually gets easier. I know that in the next month or so I will be able to whip out the boob wherever I want. I won't have the issues I have now. There will be times in the beginning you will want to quit. You will want to run out to the store and buy formula so someone else can feed your baby while you sleep. You will shed tears and spray some milk. But the experience you have and that feeling you get when your LO looks up at you while he or she is eating. And grabs your shirt will make it all worth it. Feeding time will eventually change from being a chore to being a bonding experience.
I enjoy the time I spend feeding her now. I don't dread it. It’s such a special bond, and I would experience the pain all over again to get to where I am now. I
On a side note- just because I have "super boobs" doesn't mean I am super mom. Even if you don't have super boobs- don't think you need to e super mom. The most important job i have right now is to nourish my daughter. The majority of my day is (and should be) spent feeding her and concentrating on that. The laundry can wait, the dishes will be there later, I don't need to pick up or vacuum. Everything else can take a backseat. And stop feeling guilty about it!
I hope all new mommas realize that breast feeding will not be like in the movies, it will not be like the classes, it will not be like you imagined. And that's ok, don't beat yourself up if things don't go as you planned. Take it one feed at a time!
Now who wants to see how my boobs have nourished and made this little one grow!
I don't know what made me decide to breast feed- it was always just "yep I'm going to breast feed." It seemed like the natural thing to do. It outranked the whole wanting to have a natural childbirth. It was actually one of my biggest fears when I learned that I would have to have a c section. I had heard stories from friends who had had c sections that they struggled with breast feeding, that their milk never came in. They suspected it was because their body didn't really know they had a baby since it was for all intensive purposes ripped out of them and their body had nothing to do with it.
This reason was partly the reason I wanted to schedule my section for as far out as I could. I wanted my body I naturally go in to labor before they did the c section. Yes this waiting also had to do with the fact that I hoped out LO would flip head down.
Luckily for me I have not had to worry about breast feeding. I of course DID worry. I worried all the time. I STILL worry!
Can I just say breast feeding is damn hard. It is not that Johnson & Johnson beautiful picture you see in movies. It is frustrating, it is sloppy, it is painful. Boy is it painful! (This is where I wish I had written this post earlier so that my future pregnant self or pregnant friends could get a real world account of how hard it is). But now that I am over that hard part I forget how hard it really was. I guess it is a little like child birth. In the middle of it all people say it is the worst pain they have ever felt they would never wish it on anyone- then you hold that baby and look into its wide gray eyes and two+ years down the road you are doing it all over again. The joys make you forget the pain and sorrows.
But for future pregnant self and friends who read this blog who are pregnant here is a small recap so you sorta know what to expect.
* Breast feeding classes although helpful don't prepare you for squat
No one in their right mind would choose to breast feed if these classes told you what it is really like.
* It flippin' hurts- I don't know where nurses or lactation consultants get off telling you it doesn't hurt, and if it does you are doing it wrong. Stop making women think that pain is abnormal. That's probably why so many women quit breast feeding because they think they are doing it wrong. If there is pain- it IS normal. (Yes latch could be wrong causing pain) but those first few weeks you are going to be in pain- whether your LO is latched correctly or not. I mean REALLY you have a creature grabbing an already sensitive part of your body and sucking on it vigorously enough to pull liquid out of it for 20+ minutes. Then turning around and doing that every hour! It is going to take your nipples some time to get used to that.
I remember sitting in pain in the beginning. After what seemed liked 20 minutes of getting pillows set up all around me and getting situated I would finally get Ella latched. I would grit my teeth, stomp my feet, utter a few choice cuss words that I hoped my young child would never hear (and if you know me you know I DO NOT cuss) and would cry.
* You can't just whip the boob out anywhere (at least in the beginning). I spent the first couple of weeks perfectly placing pillows around me making sure I was comfortable and baby was comfortable. Like I said before I swear it was a twenty minute process getting ready to feed her. But now a month later- I have nursed at the doctors, I have nursed at relatives houses, I have nursed at the store, I have nursed in the car. I don't bed all those pillows anymore. And I know that the older Ella gets the easier it will be to just whip the boob out and feed her. We are still (a month in) not to the point that I can nurse without a light on. Ella still needs help finding the nipple sometimes and getting latched on correctly and staying latched on.
* It is sloppy. Classes did not prepare me for the amount of milk that would get dripped all over me as I tried to breast feed. No one told me that my little one would "play" at the nipple which would cause my milk to come down and squirt her in the face. No one told me that that one little squirt in the beginning would eventually turn in to numerous fountains of squirts. How in the heck are you supposed to nurse in public when you have fountains for boobs! Not to mention society thinks you should do it under a blanket. (Like I said earlier- a month in and I still need to see what Ella is doing to get it right- I can't see what she is doing if I have a blanket covering her). But this post isn't about my viewpoint on nursing in public- it's just nursing in general--- for right now.
* It is a 24/7 job. Why don't they tell you the time commit it takes! Sure they brag that you won't have to get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen to make a bottle. They even say you will get more sleep. HA! I'm sure this is an individual by individual basis. But my husband could go to the kitchen and make a bottle as I continue to sleep. Heck he can even feed her the bottle as a sleep.
It wouldn't be bad if Ella woke up and ate and that was it. We have it lucky- I have super boobs (as Matt affectionately calls them) and Ella is able to eat efficiently and it only takes her 10 minute or so to be full. And typically goes 3 hours between feedings now (keep in mind this is a month in). Some babies take 45 minutes to eat and eat every 2 hours--- that is from beginning of the feeding to the beginning of the next feeding. Do the math on that. You wake up at 2am. Baby feeds until 2:45. Then you burp (they tell you to keep baby upright for 20-30 minutes before laying them down) lets say you burp for 15 minutes. That puts you at 3 o clock. You get baby back to bed instantly and you are able to fall back asleep with no problems what-so-ever (because that is EXACTLY how it happens) and baby is ready to eat again at 4 o'clock. Congratulations momma! You just got an hour of sleep.
Who in their right mind would choose to do that!
I will say this is really so varied. Ella is an efficient eater. And I do get more sleep than an hour at a time. But it is time consuming!
* Just because your baby isn't eating 20 minutes on the right and 20 minutes on the left doesn't mean they aren't getting enough to eat! This (aside from the pain in the beginning) was the hardest for me. I worried so much she wasn't getting enough to eat because she would take one boob or about 7 minutes then fall asleep and be done. But let's just say my "super boobs" were/are doing their jobs. She was born 7lbs 4 ozs on a Tuesday. Thursday she was 7 lbs. Friday she was 7lbs 2 oz (breast fed babies typically lose 7-10% of their body weight and don't gain it back until about 10 days postpartum) she only lost 3% and gained some back before we even left the hospital. On Monday (3 days after discharge) she weighed 7 pounds 12 oz. At her one month appointment she was 9 pounds 6 ounces. You can't tell me that she isn't getting what she needs in 7 minute feedings--- but still I worry. Point is-- worrying is normal!
So this post wasn't to discourage anyone from breast feeding. it was to speak the truth so hopefully others will stick it out longer. I had this vision in my head that turned out to be completely different. I wish I had known that breastfeeding isn’t easy for everybody. I thought I was doing something wrong…that I wasn't a good mom because it wasn't going by the play book. I now realize that is completely silly.
In the beginning you have to take it one feeding at a time. It eventually gets easier. I know that in the next month or so I will be able to whip out the boob wherever I want. I won't have the issues I have now. There will be times in the beginning you will want to quit. You will want to run out to the store and buy formula so someone else can feed your baby while you sleep. You will shed tears and spray some milk. But the experience you have and that feeling you get when your LO looks up at you while he or she is eating. And grabs your shirt will make it all worth it. Feeding time will eventually change from being a chore to being a bonding experience.
I enjoy the time I spend feeding her now. I don't dread it. It’s such a special bond, and I would experience the pain all over again to get to where I am now. I
On a side note- just because I have "super boobs" doesn't mean I am super mom. Even if you don't have super boobs- don't think you need to e super mom. The most important job i have right now is to nourish my daughter. The majority of my day is (and should be) spent feeding her and concentrating on that. The laundry can wait, the dishes will be there later, I don't need to pick up or vacuum. Everything else can take a backseat. And stop feeling guilty about it!
I hope all new mommas realize that breast feeding will not be like in the movies, it will not be like the classes, it will not be like you imagined. And that's ok, don't beat yourself up if things don't go as you planned. Take it one feed at a time!
Now who wants to see how my boobs have nourished and made this little one grow!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Our birth story
Wow! Where does the time go! It has been ONE MONTH since we became a family of three! Matt and I are officially parents to a beautiful baby GIRL!
Ella Marie Pressley
My last post was meeting Dr. P- who would be doing our c section if our LO didn't flip. I had a feeling there wouldn't be any turning happening- now I was jut waiting to here when the c section would be scheduled for.
I was woken up on February 26th by Dr. P's office letting me know that our c section was scheduled for Thursday March 7th at 1:30pm (I believe-- I can't remember exactly)
I remember calling my mom and telling her "how in the world are they going to tell a pregnant lady that she can't eat or drink anything after midnight and not do the procedure until after noon! I remember my mom laughing at me. I remember calling Matt at work and telling him to put in his paperwork to take his vacation time. I was excited that my parents would know exactly when our LO would arrive and hopefully be able to make it down for her birth. I was excited that Matt would be home with me for an entire 11 days. Then the following 7 days my mom and dad would be here.
Little did I know that our daughter had other plans (oh how strange that is still to say "my daughter")
It was a normal Tuesday until about 4 PM when I started feeling sick (like I ate something that didn't agree with me).
I am in a March Moms group on Facebook so I posted there and asked if anyone had ever had a baby flip this late in the game. I thought maybe the discomfort and oddness I was feeling was our LO turning head down.
It was a constant "blah" feeling but I wasn't feeling my stomach getting hard or tightening so I didn't think it was contractions. maybe it was Braxton hicks contractions but I doubted it. I really hoped it was a head down baby!
I posted again in my group around 4:30-5 saying I was still feeling blah. It was shortly after this the Matt got home and I laid down on the couch while he started cooking. dinner. He was making chicken and the smell of it made me nauseated. I thought for sure I ate something that didn't agree with me or was coming down with the flu.
You know that feeling when you are sick and feel like you are going to throw up or have diarrhea. And the smell of food makes you sick. That is exactly how I was feeling!
I went back and forth from trying to lay down and relax to trying to go to the bathroom. Then I started getting hot. More reason to think I was sick. I wanted to lay on the cold bathroom floor. Then I would be hot.
It was around this time my friend Stacy called me and asked how I was doing. I told her how I was feeling and she told me to go get checked. I said there was no reason- I thought I was sick but I wasn't in labor, I wasn't having contractions. I got off the phone with her and went back and forth from laying down to the bathroom. She ended up calling me back and said she talked to her sister and she really thought I should go get checked.
It was about 6 or so and I decided to go get checked out. If I was coming down with something maybe they could help me. Or if the baby had turned or was turning then they could tell me.
I was very reluctant to go. I thought they would give me a laxative and tell me I just needed to poop but was constipated from pregnancy. And I would feel like a fool. Or they would
Monitor me and say "yep baby turned- but you aren't having any contractions - now go home and wait for labor- you won't need a c section" and I would be happy.
Being so close to my due date (39 weeks 5 days) we did put clothes in he hospital bag and take t with us (although in my mind I thought we would be coming home that night and wouldn't need it.)
Well- we got to the hospital and started the registration process. Why we pre-registered I have no idea because they still asked us a ton of questions. I say there through most of it with my eyes closed and breathing. At this point I still don't think I was having contraction I was just uncomfortable and was using what we learned in our Bradley class to help myself relax and breath. I remember them asking me numerous times if I was ok, and Matt telling them I was fine- I was just breathing and relaxing. I denied the wheel chair and walked back to our room and peed in a cup. It was difficult to pee. I changed into a gown and laid down.
They hooked me up to a monitor and
asked about contractions and I told them "no I don't think I'm having any."
They left the room and I asked Matt if he could see if I was having contractions on the monitor. He had no idea. At some point they checked me and I was 5 cms. They did an ultrasound and said the baby was still breech.
I asked if we would be having the baby tonight and they said yes. This really surprised me. I couldn't believe I was 5 cms and that we would be having our son or daughter that day. I assumed that it would still be awhile, since I had eaten lunch and they wouldnt want anything in my stomach. Still a chance maybe my parents could come! I told Matt to call my mom and dad. Then asked him to send a message to a few of my close friends and tell them to light the candles they were given at our baby shower and to say a pray for us.
It was around this time I think that I was feeling more uncomfortable and was trying to lift my butt up off the bed to try and get more comfortable. I don't remember what was happening in the room because my eyes were closed most of the time. Someone came in and said my scheduled c section doctor was on call and that they called him. And luckily I remembered right then that I didn't mention my regular doctor (who planned to scrub in). I remember the woman saying something about me being with such and such practice and why hadn't I called that doctor and her saying she was going to call her now.
An anestialogist came in at some point to explain the c section and prep to me and I remember him asking if I had any dental work done. I told him I had three implants and rods in my mouth and he wanted to see. As I opened my mouth I remember letting out a slow groan/moan like we learned in our Bradley class. He asked if I was having a contraction and I shrugged. I figured at this point it probably was a contraction- but not what I expected it to feel like. Someone checked me again and before I know it there is a million and 3 people in the room and I hear someone say "she's a 9 we gotta go NOW." And I was rushed out of the room.
(I later learned that I went from 5 centimeters dilated to 9 centimeters dilated in less than a half hour)
I saw Dr. H and Dr. P. We got into the OR and someone explained to me that I was progressing really really fast and they may have to put me to sleep bc there won't be time for a spinal. Luckily I had spoken with the c section doctor about my wishes (the previous day when I met him to schedule) and he said no, she wants to be awake for this we need to get the spinal done now. And told me if I felt any sort of pressure at all I needed to tell them. I worried bc I thought "I just went through active labor and transition and didn't know- don't tell me to say if there is 'pressure' I obviously have no idea what I am feeling." I leaned against the nurse as she held me and explained to stay still as they did the spinal. I remember grabbing her waist and her saying it was ok.
I remember asking where Matt was and they said they had to finish prepping and they would get him.
When he came in the anestialogist asked if we had a camera and wanted to take pictures. Matt had no idea where the camera was, he had no idea where my purse was, he was obviously shaken up. I said "I want pictures" and someone told me they won't go through your purse. And I said I don't care- I want pictures- get my camera. The anestialogist told them to go get it and they brought my purse in and he took some pictures during the procedure.
It one point I remember the nurses talking about eating and I was the slightest bit annoyed that they were talking and wanted them to shut up. I almost asked the nurse that was in charge of my oxygen to ask them to shut up but instead I asked what the doctors were doing. And Dr. P explained what part of the procedure he was on.
Blur blur blur and then I said "I want Matt to tell me what it is. And they joked that they would have to tell Dr H to keep her mouth shut.
Blur blur blur and Matt announced to me it was a girl :) I remember Matt leaving my head and going over to wear our daughter was and I remember listening to her cry and smiling.
Matt got to cut the cord. Well trim it down as they suctioned the baby. Then he was able to hold her. Had we had him change into his button up before leaving the house he could have done skin to skin but "I wasn't in labor" so we just packed it in the bag which was left in the car.
They delayed doing a lot of the newborn procedures and as soon as I was stitched up I was able to hold our little girl, Ella Marie. Before that Matt held her close to my head and cried and stared at her. This also is a blur to me-- I remember my teeth chattering and me shaking and asking for a warm blanket.
We went eventually went to recovery and I was able to breast feed. Not being able to breast feed because my body didn't know I had a baby (due to surgery) was one of my biggest concerns.
Everything after this is sort of a blur to me. I wish I could go back and be a fly on the wall and watch how everything went down.
Ella Marie's Stats
February 26, 2013 9:08 pm
7 pounds 4 ounces
20.5 inches long
Looking back at the events of the day I can see some signs of labor--- I was so irritated with the registration process and remember thinking how ridiculous it was that I was in pain and they were asking all these questions. I remember how we were told contractions hurt when you are laying down and strapped to a bed and can't move. (But at that point I honestly didn't care- I don't think I would have thought to get up and move if someone didn't tell me to- but then again I was still in denial that I was in labor) Everything just seemed to come naturally to me. I didn't have to think "breath". I didn't have to think "relax". I did tell Matt (probably rather sternly) to rub me. And touch me as I felt "pain" in my lower nether regions.
I wasn't as scared during the c section as I thought I would be. I completely forgot to tell them to flip the mirror down so I could watch our baby enter the world.
At some point they informed me that Ella had the cord wrapped around her neck three times. And that I was built to have babies- and not to wait at home next time. (I think this may have been during when they were stitching me. )
Matt may have some more things to add- so I will have him write up his version of the beginning of our family of three soon.
Ella Marie Pressley
My last post was meeting Dr. P- who would be doing our c section if our LO didn't flip. I had a feeling there wouldn't be any turning happening- now I was jut waiting to here when the c section would be scheduled for.
I was woken up on February 26th by Dr. P's office letting me know that our c section was scheduled for Thursday March 7th at 1:30pm (I believe-- I can't remember exactly)
I remember calling my mom and telling her "how in the world are they going to tell a pregnant lady that she can't eat or drink anything after midnight and not do the procedure until after noon! I remember my mom laughing at me. I remember calling Matt at work and telling him to put in his paperwork to take his vacation time. I was excited that my parents would know exactly when our LO would arrive and hopefully be able to make it down for her birth. I was excited that Matt would be home with me for an entire 11 days. Then the following 7 days my mom and dad would be here.
Little did I know that our daughter had other plans (oh how strange that is still to say "my daughter")
It was a normal Tuesday until about 4 PM when I started feeling sick (like I ate something that didn't agree with me).
I am in a March Moms group on Facebook so I posted there and asked if anyone had ever had a baby flip this late in the game. I thought maybe the discomfort and oddness I was feeling was our LO turning head down.
It was a constant "blah" feeling but I wasn't feeling my stomach getting hard or tightening so I didn't think it was contractions. maybe it was Braxton hicks contractions but I doubted it. I really hoped it was a head down baby!
I posted again in my group around 4:30-5 saying I was still feeling blah. It was shortly after this the Matt got home and I laid down on the couch while he started cooking. dinner. He was making chicken and the smell of it made me nauseated. I thought for sure I ate something that didn't agree with me or was coming down with the flu.
You know that feeling when you are sick and feel like you are going to throw up or have diarrhea. And the smell of food makes you sick. That is exactly how I was feeling!
I went back and forth from trying to lay down and relax to trying to go to the bathroom. Then I started getting hot. More reason to think I was sick. I wanted to lay on the cold bathroom floor. Then I would be hot.
It was around this time my friend Stacy called me and asked how I was doing. I told her how I was feeling and she told me to go get checked. I said there was no reason- I thought I was sick but I wasn't in labor, I wasn't having contractions. I got off the phone with her and went back and forth from laying down to the bathroom. She ended up calling me back and said she talked to her sister and she really thought I should go get checked.
It was about 6 or so and I decided to go get checked out. If I was coming down with something maybe they could help me. Or if the baby had turned or was turning then they could tell me.
I was very reluctant to go. I thought they would give me a laxative and tell me I just needed to poop but was constipated from pregnancy. And I would feel like a fool. Or they would
Monitor me and say "yep baby turned- but you aren't having any contractions - now go home and wait for labor- you won't need a c section" and I would be happy.
Being so close to my due date (39 weeks 5 days) we did put clothes in he hospital bag and take t with us (although in my mind I thought we would be coming home that night and wouldn't need it.)
Well- we got to the hospital and started the registration process. Why we pre-registered I have no idea because they still asked us a ton of questions. I say there through most of it with my eyes closed and breathing. At this point I still don't think I was having contraction I was just uncomfortable and was using what we learned in our Bradley class to help myself relax and breath. I remember them asking me numerous times if I was ok, and Matt telling them I was fine- I was just breathing and relaxing. I denied the wheel chair and walked back to our room and peed in a cup. It was difficult to pee. I changed into a gown and laid down.
They hooked me up to a monitor and
asked about contractions and I told them "no I don't think I'm having any."
They left the room and I asked Matt if he could see if I was having contractions on the monitor. He had no idea. At some point they checked me and I was 5 cms. They did an ultrasound and said the baby was still breech.
I asked if we would be having the baby tonight and they said yes. This really surprised me. I couldn't believe I was 5 cms and that we would be having our son or daughter that day. I assumed that it would still be awhile, since I had eaten lunch and they wouldnt want anything in my stomach. Still a chance maybe my parents could come! I told Matt to call my mom and dad. Then asked him to send a message to a few of my close friends and tell them to light the candles they were given at our baby shower and to say a pray for us.
It was around this time I think that I was feeling more uncomfortable and was trying to lift my butt up off the bed to try and get more comfortable. I don't remember what was happening in the room because my eyes were closed most of the time. Someone came in and said my scheduled c section doctor was on call and that they called him. And luckily I remembered right then that I didn't mention my regular doctor (who planned to scrub in). I remember the woman saying something about me being with such and such practice and why hadn't I called that doctor and her saying she was going to call her now.
An anestialogist came in at some point to explain the c section and prep to me and I remember him asking if I had any dental work done. I told him I had three implants and rods in my mouth and he wanted to see. As I opened my mouth I remember letting out a slow groan/moan like we learned in our Bradley class. He asked if I was having a contraction and I shrugged. I figured at this point it probably was a contraction- but not what I expected it to feel like. Someone checked me again and before I know it there is a million and 3 people in the room and I hear someone say "she's a 9 we gotta go NOW." And I was rushed out of the room.
(I later learned that I went from 5 centimeters dilated to 9 centimeters dilated in less than a half hour)
I saw Dr. H and Dr. P. We got into the OR and someone explained to me that I was progressing really really fast and they may have to put me to sleep bc there won't be time for a spinal. Luckily I had spoken with the c section doctor about my wishes (the previous day when I met him to schedule) and he said no, she wants to be awake for this we need to get the spinal done now. And told me if I felt any sort of pressure at all I needed to tell them. I worried bc I thought "I just went through active labor and transition and didn't know- don't tell me to say if there is 'pressure' I obviously have no idea what I am feeling." I leaned against the nurse as she held me and explained to stay still as they did the spinal. I remember grabbing her waist and her saying it was ok.
I remember asking where Matt was and they said they had to finish prepping and they would get him.
When he came in the anestialogist asked if we had a camera and wanted to take pictures. Matt had no idea where the camera was, he had no idea where my purse was, he was obviously shaken up. I said "I want pictures" and someone told me they won't go through your purse. And I said I don't care- I want pictures- get my camera. The anestialogist told them to go get it and they brought my purse in and he took some pictures during the procedure.
It one point I remember the nurses talking about eating and I was the slightest bit annoyed that they were talking and wanted them to shut up. I almost asked the nurse that was in charge of my oxygen to ask them to shut up but instead I asked what the doctors were doing. And Dr. P explained what part of the procedure he was on.
Blur blur blur and then I said "I want Matt to tell me what it is. And they joked that they would have to tell Dr H to keep her mouth shut.
Blur blur blur and Matt announced to me it was a girl :) I remember Matt leaving my head and going over to wear our daughter was and I remember listening to her cry and smiling.
Matt got to cut the cord. Well trim it down as they suctioned the baby. Then he was able to hold her. Had we had him change into his button up before leaving the house he could have done skin to skin but "I wasn't in labor" so we just packed it in the bag which was left in the car.
They delayed doing a lot of the newborn procedures and as soon as I was stitched up I was able to hold our little girl, Ella Marie. Before that Matt held her close to my head and cried and stared at her. This also is a blur to me-- I remember my teeth chattering and me shaking and asking for a warm blanket.
We went eventually went to recovery and I was able to breast feed. Not being able to breast feed because my body didn't know I had a baby (due to surgery) was one of my biggest concerns.
Everything after this is sort of a blur to me. I wish I could go back and be a fly on the wall and watch how everything went down.
Ella Marie's Stats
February 26, 2013 9:08 pm
7 pounds 4 ounces
20.5 inches long
Looking back at the events of the day I can see some signs of labor--- I was so irritated with the registration process and remember thinking how ridiculous it was that I was in pain and they were asking all these questions. I remember how we were told contractions hurt when you are laying down and strapped to a bed and can't move. (But at that point I honestly didn't care- I don't think I would have thought to get up and move if someone didn't tell me to- but then again I was still in denial that I was in labor) Everything just seemed to come naturally to me. I didn't have to think "breath". I didn't have to think "relax". I did tell Matt (probably rather sternly) to rub me. And touch me as I felt "pain" in my lower nether regions.
I wasn't as scared during the c section as I thought I would be. I completely forgot to tell them to flip the mirror down so I could watch our baby enter the world.
At some point they informed me that Ella had the cord wrapped around her neck three times. And that I was built to have babies- and not to wait at home next time. (I think this may have been during when they were stitching me. )
Matt may have some more things to add- so I will have him write up his version of the beginning of our family of three soon.
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