Breast feeding

I wish I would have written this post when I was newly breast feeding so I could be truly accurate- but I have been busy... Ya know- breast feeding and all.

I don't know what made me decide to breast feed- it was always just "yep I'm going to breast feed." It seemed like the natural thing to do. It outranked the whole wanting to have a natural childbirth. It was actually one of my biggest fears when I learned that I would have to have a c section. I had heard stories from friends who had had c sections that they struggled with breast feeding, that their milk never came in. They suspected it was because their body didn't really know they had a baby since it was for all intensive purposes ripped out of them and their body had nothing to do with it.

This reason was partly the reason I wanted to schedule my section for as far out as I could. I wanted my body I naturally go in to labor before they did the c section. Yes this waiting also had to do with the fact that I hoped out LO would flip head down.

Luckily for me I have not had to worry about breast feeding. I of course DID worry. I worried all the time. I STILL worry!

Can I just say breast feeding is damn hard. It is not that Johnson & Johnson beautiful picture you see in movies. It is frustrating, it is sloppy, it is painful. Boy is it painful! (This is where I wish I had written this post earlier so that my future pregnant self or pregnant friends could get a real world account of how hard it is). But now that I am over that hard part I forget how hard it really was. I guess it is a little like child birth. In the middle of it all people say it is the worst pain they have ever felt they would never wish it on anyone- then you hold that baby and look into its wide gray eyes and two+ years down the road you are doing it all over again. The joys make you forget the pain and sorrows.

But for future pregnant self and friends who read this blog who are pregnant here is a small recap so you sorta know what to expect.

* Breast feeding classes although helpful don't prepare you for squat

No one in their right mind would choose to breast feed if these classes told you what it is really like.

* It flippin' hurts- I don't know where nurses or lactation consultants get off telling you it doesn't hurt, and if it does you are doing it wrong. Stop making women think that pain is abnormal. That's probably why so many women quit breast feeding because they think they are doing it wrong. If there is pain- it IS normal. (Yes latch could be wrong causing pain) but those first few weeks you are going to be in pain- whether your LO is latched correctly or not. I mean REALLY you have a creature grabbing an already sensitive part of your body and sucking on it vigorously enough to pull liquid out of it for 20+ minutes. Then turning around and doing that every hour! It is going to take your nipples some time to get used to that.

I remember sitting in pain in the beginning. After what seemed liked 20 minutes of getting pillows set up all around me and getting situated I would finally get Ella latched. I would grit my teeth, stomp my feet, utter a few choice cuss words that I hoped my young child would never hear (and if you know me you know I DO NOT cuss) and would cry.

* You can't just whip the boob out anywhere (at least in the beginning). I spent the first couple of weeks perfectly placing pillows around me making sure I was comfortable and baby was comfortable. Like I said before I swear it was a twenty minute process getting ready to feed her. But now a month later- I have nursed at the doctors, I have nursed at relatives houses, I have nursed at the store, I have nursed in the car. I don't bed all those pillows anymore. And I know that the older Ella gets the easier it will be to just whip the boob out and feed her. We are still (a month in) not to the point that I can nurse without a light on. Ella still needs help finding the nipple sometimes and getting latched on correctly and staying latched on.

* It is sloppy. Classes did not prepare me for the amount of milk that would get dripped all over me as I tried to breast feed. No one told me that my little one would "play" at the nipple which would cause my milk to come down and squirt her in the face. No one told me that that one little squirt in the beginning would eventually turn in to numerous fountains of squirts. How in the heck are you supposed to nurse in public when you have fountains for boobs! Not to mention society thinks you should do it under a blanket. (Like I said earlier- a month in and I still need to see what Ella is doing to get it right- I can't see what she is doing if I have a blanket covering her). But this post isn't about my viewpoint on nursing in public- it's just nursing in general--- for right now.

* It is a 24/7 job. Why don't they tell you the time commit it takes! Sure they brag that you won't have to get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen to make a bottle. They even say you will get more sleep. HA! I'm sure this is an individual by individual basis. But my husband could go to the kitchen and make a bottle as I continue to sleep. Heck he can even feed her the bottle as a sleep.

It wouldn't be bad if Ella woke up and ate and that was it. We have it lucky- I have super boobs (as Matt affectionately calls them) and Ella is able to eat efficiently and it only takes her 10 minute or so to be full. And typically goes 3 hours between feedings now (keep in mind this is a month in). Some babies take 45 minutes to eat and eat every 2 hours--- that is from beginning of the feeding to the beginning of the next feeding. Do the math on that. You wake up at 2am. Baby feeds until 2:45. Then you burp (they tell you to keep baby upright for 20-30 minutes before laying them down) lets say you burp for 15 minutes. That puts you at 3 o clock. You get baby back to bed instantly and you are able to fall back asleep with no problems what-so-ever (because that is EXACTLY how it happens) and baby is ready to eat again at 4 o'clock. Congratulations momma! You just got an hour of sleep.

Who in their right mind would choose to do that!

I will say this is really so varied. Ella is an efficient eater. And I do get more sleep than an hour at a time. But it is time consuming!

* Just because your baby isn't eating 20 minutes on the right and 20 minutes on the left doesn't mean they aren't getting enough to eat! This (aside from the pain in the beginning) was the hardest for me. I worried so much she wasn't getting enough to eat because she would take one boob or about 7 minutes then fall asleep and be done. But let's just say my "super boobs" were/are doing their jobs. She was born 7lbs 4 ozs on a Tuesday. Thursday she was 7 lbs. Friday she was 7lbs 2 oz (breast fed babies typically lose 7-10% of their body weight and don't gain it back until about 10 days postpartum) she only lost 3% and gained some back before we even left the hospital. On Monday (3 days after discharge) she weighed 7 pounds 12 oz. At her one month appointment she was 9 pounds 6 ounces. You can't tell me that she isn't getting what she needs in 7 minute feedings--- but still I worry. Point is-- worrying is normal!

So this post wasn't to discourage anyone from breast feeding. it was to speak the truth so hopefully others will stick it out longer. I had this vision in my head that turned out to be completely different. I wish I had known that breastfeeding isn’t easy for everybody. I thought I was doing something wrong…that I wasn't a good mom because it wasn't going by the play book. I now realize that is completely silly.
In the beginning you have to take it one feeding at a time. It eventually gets easier. I know that in the next month or so I will be able to whip out the boob wherever I want. I won't have the issues I have now. There will be times in the beginning you will want to quit. You will want to run out to the store and buy formula so someone else can feed your baby while you sleep. You will shed tears and spray some milk. But the experience you have and that feeling you get when your LO looks up at you while he or she is eating. And grabs your shirt will make it all worth it. Feeding time will eventually change from being a chore to being a bonding experience.
I enjoy the time I spend feeding her now. I don't dread it. It’s such a special bond, and I would experience the pain all over again to get to where I am now. I

On a side note- just because I have "super boobs" doesn't mean I am super mom. Even if you don't have super boobs- don't think you need to e super mom. The most important job i have right now is to nourish my daughter. The majority of my day is (and should be) spent feeding her and concentrating on that. The laundry can wait, the dishes will be there later, I don't need to pick up or vacuum. Everything else can take a backseat. And stop feeling guilty about it!


I hope all new mommas realize that breast feeding will not be like in the movies, it will not be like the classes, it will not be like you imagined. And that's ok, don't beat yourself up if things don't go as you planned. Take it one feed at a time!


Now who wants to see how my boobs have nourished and made this little one grow!